June 7th, 2010
I got rear-ended on the way to yoga tonight. Perhaps the very act of driving to yoga gets me all Zen because I wasn’t that perturbed by it—the damage, the long phone calls with insurance companies, having to reassure the freaked out 21-year-old who hit me that it was all fine, she and I were okay and that’s all that matters… I think the only perturbing factor was being late to yoga, really. (Yes, I still went.) But, as I sat down to write this–fender bender headache being kept at bay momentarily by OTC meds–no other topic could come to me as I settled in other than perspective and how it may have shaped my reaction to something I might have otherwise flipped out about at another point in my life.
Just makes you want to strike a tree pose and meditate, doesn't it?
In addition to my blood pressure not changing one iota during my little accident, I’ve been trying new stuff lately and renewing my enthusiasm for past interests. It’s timely since we’ve been throwing around the notion of defining the word and concept of “athlete” here at MP4 lately. As far as I can tell, I’m not trying to earn that title by my actions. Rather, I’m mostly doing things because I can. Pretty simple. You see, I have a lifelong habit of letting the DUMBEST things keep me from trying stuff, such as thinking I’m “too fat”, “not talented enough”, or whatever. You know the drill. Fill in the dysfunctional thought of your choosing. In the last 39-1/2 years I’ve had most of them, I’m sure.
Why the change? I’m sure turning 40 this year has to have something to do with it. After a while you figure out that you aren’t going to suddenly transform into a gifted athlete supermodel genius if you have not been one previously. At the very least, you realize that self-limiting thinking sucks and causes you to miss out on life. But it’s also because, as time goes by, you have experiences that make you realize you ought to try something out if you want to “because you can”. (Disclaimer: Can we all be grown ups and assume what I’m talking about is new places, new outfits, new hobbies, new hairdos, new sports, new ways of doing things? Not dangerous, harmful, immoral, unethical, cruel, and/or illegal things. Good, thanks.)
Something happens as certain birthdays close in when you realize that your age is not “old” like you thought it was when your parents were turning those numbers. Mind you, I need more time to recover and I hurt a LOT more when I do things. One of my physical tendencies is arthritis. It’s annoying, but I feel better when I’m moving. (Seanna always mentions that Kas and I are in perpetual motion. Little does she know that once I’m warmed up it’s the only time I don’t hurt. 
I’ll let her continue to be impressed, though.) And when my husband (physical therapist) comes home with a heart-breaking story of a patient’s disability, or I think of a patient of my own who is experiencing a loss of function, I lose any thoughts of skipping cardio. Why? Because I can do it. He and I will park in the back of parking lots and look at each other and say: “Because we can”. Like it’s some sort of protective pact that will karmic-ly keep us from ever being gimped up.
On that note, part of my “because I can” comes from the fact that some people I know “can’t”. I have a dear friend really duking it out with an advanced stage of cancer. She is the embodiment of bravery and peace, routinely undergoing painful and nauseating treatments in the hope that she’ll get more time with her husband and 1-year-old daughter, yet still being able to pull off some of the best conversations about spirituality and other deep topics. I leave those conversations utterly transformed, eagerly awaiting the next one because I grow another level with each one, I swear it. This friend was one of my training regulars. Not only could she hold her own, she did it looking fabulous, even throughout her pregnancy. I train partly because I can, and she can’t right now.
I’m not sure how to tie this all up. I’m not usually the one on the MP4 doing a “pondering” sort of post. But my own transforming perspective is not random. It’s not coincidental that our collective MP4 Team consciousness lately, as we define ourselves and our offerings, surrounds the concept that we train for per4mance AND for beauty because we (“we”=all of us) can. We shun little pink dumbbells while pumping big ones with pink manicures because we can. We pull off a grunt-fart-spit workout, shake off the sweat, and slug down our PWO while heading out for a facial because we can. We choose not to make per4ming well and aging gracefully mutually exclusive concepts.
And that opens up a LOT of “cans”. 
I’d like to dedicate today’s post to my late cousin, Lara Spencer Bunce . A star student-athlete, she could have been the poster-person for MP4: rock star at her sports, mentally determined, gorgeous inside and out. Her too-short-but-packed-tight life inspires me to keep pluggin’ and chuggin’ with a can-do attitude… because I can.
Awesome on the field...
...and off.
“Life is too short to be anything but happy.”
~Lara S. Bunce
10/27/90-6/12/08
Tags: athlete, Beauty, motivation, Pondering, yoga
I’m giving you a standing ovation for this one, Heather…because I can.
Thanks. I needed this.
I second that Joanna. Sitting imbed this am and thinking about getting up early to start the day. I am excited and refreshed after reading this one, doc! I will be sharing this one on our f/b page myself as I think my clients and fellow ‘athletes’ (whatever the level) will find some inspiration and motivation for the week in these words.
I will celebrate this wonderful week with many and celebrate the fact that I am healthy, happy and lucky…. (ok corny moment) Because I Can!!!
This is a wonderful post. I lost a very special someone in March who spent much too much time being unhappy and unhealthy. I’ll never get over that it didn’t have to be that way and am watching myself as that very not random experience changes my perspective on everything. Thanks for pondering for us – you do it well Doc, and should keep it in your arsenal of post possibilities. I hope you don’t have any post-accident issues. Stay well.
Oh, and yeah, sorry, but even knowing how it really is, Miss 39 1/2 and creaky, I’m still way impressed by you.
How is it you can make me laugh and cry in the same paragraph? Oh I know because you can. You always could. So now do we call you Doc of body and mind? Love You.
I want to complain. In fact, I’m going to.;) There needs to be a disclaimer on awesome posts like these so that us mush-pots can prep ourselves so we don’t cry all over our desks. B/w this post and the Fwd email Seanna sent me about 20 min. ago, I may have to go to Walmart and stock up on some tissues!
So loved this. And we always need one of these. I know I have said this before, I feel like I know your friend personally and there is no one praying for her harder than I am. May the Lord bless her deeply.
Joanna: I hear you on that one for sure! I was going to say that.
Deirdre: Welcome to MP4 and thank you for posting. We love to hear from fellow professionals/athletes. Enjoy your week and if your celebrating involves chocolate, butter or ice cream, please come back and share.;)
Seanna: I thought of you this morning b/c a bird has made a nest outside of my office window and I can check out its little nest of birdies. Now I am happy I can do that this morning! You and Heather should do a joint post about both of your recent road (off road) races you have been in. You know…because you can!:o)
Graham: Welcome as well! I think we hit send at the same time.:o)
Well now… I guess I’ll have to ponder on paper more often. Thanks all for making sense of what I felt was a rambling mess. I closed my eyes and turned away as I hit send, actually.
Enough of that. Let’s all meet…
Deidre is a very VERY dear friend of mine and fabulous sports massage therapist here in Atlanta. Her business is celebrating it’s 10th year of service this Thursday with a block par-tay. Can’t wait. (Jodi, I know there will at least be cupcakes.) If you’re in the Atlanta area and need no-nonsense muscle work http://www.smit-atl.com Thanks for commenting, girl. For the record, I loves me some corniness! Love you too.
Graham is my uncle and Lara’s father. All I can say without drowning my keyboard in tears is that, if a person’s child were the only testament to who they are, he is one amazing guy. But since there’s so much more to him than the contribution of his dynamic and sorely-missed daughter, you should know that he’s the backbone, the glue, and the rock of our family. Whether he wanted that role when he married into family silly with females or not.
Heather,
I am in awe of your post; such wonderful words of inspiration and wisdom. As a coach, I know the importance of that certain mindset you need to move forward. The aphorism “because I can” simply says it all. Thanks for putting some pep in my step today. Hope you don’t mind that I will be posting this on my fan page so all my FB fans can see how cool you are!
Keep writing!
Patti
Thank you for those words. I’ve spent over an hour crying this morning, over something I have no control over, yet to need to find where I can. This was beautifully written, and exactly what I needed. Thank you.
I love you H! And p.s. you partially inspired tomorrow’s post!
Patti: Welcome! And thank you. Post all you like. We’re all about sharing at MP4.
Melanie: Thanks for dropping by, and for commenting! While I hate that you were crying, a good cry is one of my fave therapies. I hope things go well for you going forward.
You and Patti might want to check out my post (May, I think) called “Are you a silly monkey?”. It’s all about letting go.
Kas: {mwah} Can’t wait for your post. Let’s keep the love fest going!
Love love love love love love love love LOVE!
And the photo of the damage to your car is visible now. Good! I’m relieved that it’s only a little bit bad. Sorry, I know it’s very annoying I was expecting worse. Plus you made it to yoga on time! I gave you a high five from way up here for being nice to the young person who hit you. That’s how I try to handle things like this too, with mercy and hopefully, grace. What’s the end of the world attitude? That and it’s not like I haven’t rear ended someone or taken out a side mirror back in the day and needed a little mercy too. So good for you.
Feathers – Thanks for this beautiful post. You are an awesome human being, Yoda-girl!
Wow! Jodi said I shouldn’t miss this one and she was right (as usual). Thanks for eloquently putting this all into words.
With permission I would love to share this with the marathon kids.
“Because I can!” may become a very special part of the High School Marathon program.
[...] my day. Ironically enough, this “ah ha” moment happened a few minutes before I read Heather’s blog post. But when I read it, I realized that injured or not, I am blessed to be able to do so much [...]
thank you for your words – it’s all a matter of perspective and realizing that life is short – treasure your moments – I saw it in your Aunt Kathy’s facbook profile – we are friends
Hi Maria! Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts!